I found that the default web site was bound to 443 which made the SBS web applications web site appear as stopped. This is what the default web site binding should look like:
I found that two of these sites said "offline"
And this is what the bindings on SBS Web Applications should look like:
I adjusted the bindings, and then I was ready to go. I have no earthly idea why the bindings changed. It wasn't the updates. They were standard Windows updates. So odd.